Dr. Drew solves embarrassing sexual debacles
From the female orgasm to the healthiest sexual position to chronic masturbation, Dr. Drew Pinsky knows it all.
Dr. Drew, who is best known for his 18 years as co-host of the syndicated radio talk show ‘Loveline,’ came to Syracuse University on Monday night to talk about sexual quandaries, mishaps and myths. The event was sponsored by the SU chapter of Hillel.
The introductory portion of Dr. Drew’s talk focused on the function of instincts.
‘One way people can hear their instincts is by living with integrity,’ he said. ‘My definition of integrity means deciding what’s right and what’s wrong for you, telling people that and living that way. Instinct is a piece of your brain that will not steer you wrong. However, it’s not to be confused with arousal or attraction.’
During college, men and women are never so far apart in terms of how they experience themselves in relationships, Dr. Drew said. Men usually call his show with questions about themselves, and women usually call with questions about the men with whom they’re in relationships. He deemed that, as college students see it, there are three different choices for getting affection from the opposite sex: Hooking up, attachment at the hip and becoming friends with benefits.
‘Hook-ups almost always occur when intoxicated,’ he said. ‘They’re shrouded in mystery. I don’t even have to mention the walk of shame. Joined at the hip seems good, but these types of relationships develop rapidly and you have no real time to assess the other person. Friends with benefits works for a while, but someone always ends up getting their ass hurt.’
Dr. Drew instead advocated the benefits of simply dating. He pondered the apparent necessity for alcohol prior to hooking up with someone. Audience opinions varied from ‘Anybody’ll look good once you’re loaded’ to ‘A drunk girl is more likely to be a horny girl.’
‘Basically, being loaded helps the guy get the job done,’ Dr. Drew said. ‘The men are like the lions waiting in the brush, watching the herd of zebras go by. Guys’ motivations and priorities are different.’
Following the introductory portion of his talk, Dr. Drew took questions from audience members. He stated that the healthiest sexual position is one where the woman is in control of the movement, and both partners are stimulated. Anal intercourse, he added, is not the healthiest option. A significant percentage of women are non-orgasmic until about the age of 22, and even after that, most women do not have orgasms during intercourse, Dr. Drew said. And as far as stopping your roommate from constantly pleasuring himself?
‘You need to put the viewing material in private spaces,’ he said.
One woman attending the show with her boyfriend was curious about ways to increase her lover’s sex drive. The woman was eager to have sex once a day on average, much to the elation of her partner. She told Dr. Drew they’re currently copulating ‘three to four times a week,’ eliciting shock and disbelief from her boyfriend. Dr. Drew suggested that there was probably something wrong in the foundations of the relationship, leaving the couple to steam quietly in their seats.
Another student had a much more personal problem. He described an incident in which his friend ‘Joe’ had his girlfriend’s fingers inserted in a very sensitive place. When ‘Joe’ described the incident to his other friends, they were disgusted by the fact that he had found pleasure in the act. However, this student was curious – he experimented with his own girlfriend and found that he, in fact, found it ‘weird.’ Since the incident, his girlfriend had been hounding him for a repeat performance, and the student needed help to deter her.
‘I have no clue why anyone would ever want to put anything in my ass,’ he said.
Dr. Drew suggested what is pleasurable to one partner is not necessarily pleasurable to another, and that the two should find a happy medium. He argued that one should not put up with something they don’t like in order to please the other person or to get something they like to do in return.
Dr. Drew openly advocated the use of birth control pills, student health services, condoms and the morning-after pill.
‘You should have a prescription for the morning-after pill on hand,’ he said. ‘It’s like keeping a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. It doesn’t necessarily mean that something is going to catch on fire, but it’s sure nice to have there in case something does.’
Published on November 17, 2003 at 12:00 pm