Oh, this wasn’t Marcellus or Manlius or Mattydale. It was Manley Field House, where the descendents of Johannes Gutenberg, in its one hundred and fourth manifestation, brutally perished for the eighth year uninterrupted to the byproducts of KDKA-Pittsburgh, all the while hoping a loathsome locale deviation would manifest a long-lost merry outcome.

In the annual basket-tossing happenstance deemed Media Cup that customarily transpires on the archaic ash canvas of one James Arthur Boeheim below the palatial white bubble called Carrier, WAER banished The Daily Orange, 36-26, on the virgin spruce carpet of practice for one Q. Hillsman inside this bleacher-bespeckled igloo known as Manley.

In his hindmost contest, senior Michael Potter, who last sculpted for D.O. Sports many moons ago, heaved in a game-high 15 points, the foremost accumulation in his career on this Wednesday evening. Just as a late 3-point sling by Potter cleaved the shortcoming to four points, a whistle from the lone arbitrator lacerated the air, trumpeting the forthcoming peril.

Six newsprinters inhabited the spruce, one more than James Naismith predetermined in the feather-penned official rules of basket-flinging so many centuries yonder. Seven points the spread lingered.

‘I thought that was our only way to win – unfortunately they noticed,’ spoketh Matt Gelb, assistant sports editor and D.O. headmaster.

A cannonade of wayward lobs excommunicated The Hacks, whose percentage of true endeavors from the field (2.1) still outnumbered The Screaming Heads’ campus audience (0). A young 5-2 lead promptly decomposed as the towering Dan Bumpus, who lofted in a WAER-high 13 points, gnarled betwixt the height-deficient scribes many a time.

The D.O.’s nine first-half points stimulated fresh ink in the official Media Cup almanac.

‘Part of me will never graduate,’ spoketh aghast sports editor emeritus Timothy Gorman, who performed in his ultimate engagement alongside Potter, assistant sports editor emeriti Mike Janela and Rob Anthes and staff writer Josh Friedman.

Oh, if only one time I could sculpt about a basket-tossing conquest for the descendants of Johannes Gutenberg. Oh, if only.

W.F. Whence is a germanificated staff sculptor for The Daily Orange, where he re-germanificated to sculpt this glistening prose.

Published on April 4, 2007 at 12:00 pm