Lasting impression l Hickeys reveal social stigmas on sex and relationships
Covering your neck with makeup, wearing a scarf in the summer and icing for hours are common annoyances people go through to get rid of hickeys. Some simply pretend as if they’re not there. But makeup can smudge, scarves can get hot, icing can take too long, and the hickey still calls as much attention as a billboard sign in neon lights.
A temporary red mark, hickeys are created when biting or sucking bursts blood vessels under the skin, causing blood clots to form. Some wear turtlenecks or scarves to hide their marks, while others proudly show off the hickeys they are given.
Joseph Fanelli, an assistant professor in Child and Family Studies who teaches Human Sexuality, said hickeys are considered a sign of branding, or a flashback. He said it is interesting that some consider having their neck mauled as sexy or romantic, and he compares walking around with a hickey exposed to having a 4 a.m. walk of shame.
Deciding whether or not to hide a hickey may depend on the outlook of friends, rather than that of an individual college student, said Debby Herbenick, author of ‘Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.’
‘For example, some groups of friends are very conservative or religious and may view hickeys negatively if they feel that hickeys are a sign that their friend is doing something that they don’t approve of,’ Herbenick said.
‘On the other hand, other friend groups may be more accepting of sex, making out and hooking up and either may not give hickeys a second thought, or they may think they are just one of the many funny things that happen as a result of making out and thus no big deal,’ she said.
Fanelli said that the image of hickeys is in the eye of the beholder, and some people simply see a bruise. Certain communities may understand the image of hickeys differently, though, he said.
Hayley Strichman said she would not hide a hickey from her friends, though she would hide it from her parents. The sophomore public relations major said she is in a different situation, though, because any hickeys she has are from her boyfriend.
Even if the mark is from a significant other, it is not always considered acceptable.
‘When I see people on the streets that have hickeys I think it is kind of trashy, and I do judge people a little bit,’ said Morgan Domershick, a freshman marketing major.
For those who feel inclined to hide their hickeys, there are several options. Brushing the area of your skin that has the hickey, icing, and applying vitamin K are all common ways to actively get rid of them, though these methods are not 100 percent effective.
Combing or brushing a hickey breaks up the blood clot and gets circulation going again. Like most bruises, massaging a hickey or combing it can work to eliminate some of the coloring by getting the circulation flowing better and help for it to heal faster.
Putting hot tea bags, deodorant or toothpaste on the mark overnight may also fade the mark’s coloration, but they are not proven to always work effectively. Freezing a metal spoon and then putting it up to the hickey is a tip Fanelli said he has heard may work effectively.
‘People I know brush their hickeys with a toothbrush,’ Domershick said. ‘It usually makes it less noticeable and makes them go away faster, though I can imagine it sometimes hurts to brush your skin, and it doesn’t eliminate the hickey right away.’
‘To a lot of people, they are a very personal thing,’ Strichman said. ‘People who hide them are usually the people who won’t kiss and tell.’
Published on November 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm