The pop-punkers of Bowling For Soup have been stuck in neutral since writing their charmingly juvenile ‘Drunk Enough to Dance.’ Lead singer Jaret Reddick and the rest of the gang fell into the lazy cycle of half-heartedly writing the same album over and over instead of growing up and progressing in their musical ability. Because their latest effort still lacks any signs of newfound inventiveness, I took it upon myself to inject some creativity into the album by reviewing it in poetic form.

Here’s the latest scoop

On pop-punk group Bowling for Soup:

Their new album ‘Fishin’ For Woos,’

Should be met with a chorus of boos,

And fans who expected something new have really been duped.

 

The album’s lead single ‘S-S-S-Saturday’ actually packs a bit of a punch,

With angst-fueled gang vocals and guitars with a crunch.

But the chorus has that annoying stutter,

Doesn’t go anywhere, and just kind of putters,

But it’s one of the only good songs of the bunch.

 

Because when push comes to shove,

The opening track, ‘Let’s Pretend We’re Not in Love,’

Probably tried to avoid hackneyed clichés

And lame rhymes to start the album in all the right ways,

But suffers from all of the above.

 

Tracks like ‘Girls In America’ don’t let the album shine,

The token song about girls lets Reddick go on and whine,

The band’s still desperately trying to rewrite their hit ‘1985,’

And the lyrics sound like they were written by a kid age 5,

So it’s hard to believe these guys are actually 39.

 

‘Here’s Your Freakin’ Song’

Opens with a spoken-word intro that starts the track out wrong,

It sounds like frenzied ‘80s rock that’s all out of whack.

I’ve honestly heard better lyrics from Rebecca Black,

The track is three minutes and 55 seconds too long.

 

Bowling For Soup has been together for 16 years,

It’s about time for them to change gears.

I’m not looking for anything hipster or artsy,

But listening to four grown men sing about parties,

Is enough to bring me to tears.

 

There‘s a bright spot on the album with ‘Smiley Face’

A fun tune that’s a nice change of pace.

Drummer Gary Wiseman rollicks, and Reddick’s vocals soar,

One of the few breezy songs that listening to isn’t a chore,

And highlights Erik Chandler’s skills on the bass.

 

Which is followed up by ‘Turbulence,’ an acoustic track

That tries with all of its might to pick up the slack,

Its wistful piano chords are low-key as Reddick softly sings,

An uplifting melody that’s sure to tug at heartstrings,

Putting the album’s best two songs back to back.

 

But then the album relapses back into its sorry state

With tracks that are about 50 exits away from being great,

Bowling For Soup goes for broke on ‘Friends Chicks Guitars,’

A Blink-182 clone with distorted guitars that shoots for the stars

But falters and sinks under its own weight.

 

The album rounds out with ‘Graduation Trip’ not a moment too soon,

Another acoustic guitar-led track that sounds like a campfire tune,

The guitar riffs are nice, but Reddick’s voice is too gritty,

To carry what’s meant to be a lovesick little ditty,

But the song just proves his inability to croon.

 

Bowling For Soup has been around longer than most of their fans have been alive,

Which is not an excuse for them to not grow up a little or at least strive,

To be a little more profound than a goofy band with toilet humor,

But the fact that this album is bad is not just a rumor,

So for me, ‘Fishing For Woos’ gets one star out of five.

 

ervanrhe@syr.edu

Published on May 2, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Contact Erik: ervanrhe@syr.edu | @therealvandyman