Last year, Erin Bauwens knew she was going to have her hands full when she found out her roommate and her boyfriend came as a packaged deal.

‘My roommate had this crazy boyfriend from high school who would visit, and they would end up starting huge fights,’ said Bauwens, a sophomorepolitical sciencemajor.

Living with a roommate is one of the biggest adjustments new students have to make. Rebecca Daniels, coordinator of communications of SU’s Office of Residence Life, said it’s a situation that requires time and effort from both people.

‘With a little give and take, your living situation can be one of the most fun and positive aspects of your time here at Syracuse,’ Daniels said.

Measures can be taken to prevent most conflicts and avoid tense atmospheres like the one Bauwens had to endure. Here are some tips from Daniels on adjusting to living with a roommate and keeping problems from getting out of hand.

Communication is key: ‘Many students come to college not having shared space with a roommate before and sometimes find it difficult to communicate their needs, especially as far as sleeping patterns, sharing items and cleanliness. The most important thing is to talk openly about what you need to feel comfortable in your space with your roommate. Don’t assume that your roommate has extrasensory perception.’

Take your roommate agreement seriously: ‘Take time to talk over the questions and answer them seriously together. Be honest with each other during this process, and it can either prevent or help you to solve any conflicts down the road.’

Compromise: ‘You can’t always have your way, but if your roommate is a night owl and you’re an early to bed, early to rise type, maybe you can sleep with earplugs in as long as the lights are out at a certain time. Or, if you’re a late-night person and your roommate wakes up early in the morning, you can find an alternate place to study in your building late at night as long as your roommate agrees to be quiet and careful when they wake up the next day. If you can talk out situations before they happen, it will prevent things from getting stressful in the future.’

Stay cool: ‘Keeping a cool head with your roommate helps. You would be surprised to find out how many times your roommate would have no idea that something they are doing is impacting you negatively. If you can calmly address it with them early instead of letting yourself get angry and confrontational with them, you can keep most situations from getting worse.

Collaborate: ‘Maybe you can agree not to leave dirty dishes in the room and wash them, and your roommate will take the garbage out regularly and things like that. When it comes to guests in the room, developing a schedule or list of acceptable times for friends to come over is never a bad idea. Everyone should be able to sleep and study in their residence hall, even if everyone’s needs in those areas are a bit different.’

Think twice about rooming with a close friend: ‘If you choose to live with a friend, do not automatically assume that because you are friends you will be great roommates. Talk about your patterns and needs, and don’t rely solely on the fact that you get along socially. Surprisingly, we see just as many, if not more, conflicts between students who live with their friends as we do with students who room with a randomly assigned roommate.’

Know where (and when) to go for help: ‘Talk to your resident advisor first. RAs are trained in conflict mediation and can assist in working out problems with roommates. You can also consult with the professional staff (resident director and assistant resident director) in your building for advice.’

ervanrhe@syr.edu

Published on August 29, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Contact Erik: ervanrhe@syr.edu | @therealvandyman