This is my first byline in The Daily Orange ever — if it even counts as a byline. I still call dibs on Brett’s obituary.

Stephen — I said you’d be first and I meant it. Thanks for sharing your desk and including me in Sports; I would have been gone after half a semester if I were stuck alone on the porch. Instead, I made it three full semesters, cut up a door at 5 a.m. and started throwing knives at parties. That’s all you.

Patrick — If the only reason I liked Syracuse was because I met you here, I would make the same choice a million times over. Everything I have loved over the past four years, you’ve been a part of and I know you’ll be there for everything that happens next. I love you, Pats. Hope this doesn’t make anything awkward.

Phil —I wish we were friends back when Dudy was rolling around on your quad floor, but better late than never. If you ever want to leave the time zone, I’d love to show you Oregon — as long as you learn to pronounce it, that is. There are no words for how excited I was when you became sports editor. I could have never cut you from my duck.

Sam —You’ve been primed for sports editor since I met you — I know you’ll make the section your own. I would have been honored to share your desk. Be nice to the new copy chief.

Daddy — I always loved reading your stories so it doesn’t bother me much that I can’t repeat most the things I’ve heard come out of your mouth. At least you always made Sports the most fun.

Grossman — You’re going to be a much better assistant than copy editor. It was fun to have someone to pick on who could throw it back at me; hopefully you’ll still go to Giants games with me this summer. Also, it never snows in Oregon.

Schwed — I’m happy I got to know you beyond the philosophical email questions you would send Jesse. You were so fun to have in-house. Green bananas only.

Jesse — We liked to fight, but at the end of the day, you were one of my first friends at The D.O. and always fun to have around. Look me up when you’re out in California again.

Klinger — You’re the only one who understands my mill stories, and that’s awesome because then I don’t feel so weird. We missed out on Lloyd’s class but I’m glad I got a semester with you.

Trevor —It seems like so long ago we sat across from each other in Sports. Luckily, you’re a legend so I still hear your catchphrases every day.

Meredith — When I told you I was working at The D.O., you told me that you weren’t working in house anymore. I was pissed. I’m glad you came back, even if Becca hates us both now.

Lara — It has been so fun to share both The D.O. and Theta with you. I’m lucky to count you as more than just a boss or a girl in my sorority but as a really good friend.

Brett — It’s been a long time since we’ve strangled each other in the art director’s closet, but I’m glad I kept my promise of staying in-house as long you were news editor. I know you’ll be a great ME but when you need to vent, I’m just a phone call, Skype, G-chat, anything away. It’s too bad we never got to take a class together.

Erin — I feel like you’ve been around more than one semester and I wish you would have been. I never missed sitting on the porch until you came around.

Tony — I love our Sunday meeting conversations in the back. Also I love your scribbles — it’s too bad Meredith had to censor so many of them.

Mara — You have totally transformed since I first met you and it’s awesome. It would be my greatest pleasure to be stranded on an island or go to Mars with you.

Chloe — There are a couple things I’ll never be able to see without thinking of you: red pandas, corgis, Disney movies, “Lollipop” by Lil’ Wayne. I’ll miss you Chlo.

Kait — I’m so happy you joined The D.O. this year because we actually get to see each other. After running around all day Mayfest last year I always wanted to, but this semester it finally happened.

Justin —I don’t think I like anything as much as you like politics and baseball. Well, maybe Oregon football. Still, it’s impressive how dedicated you are. You worn born to be news editor.

Jess — You handled everything with a smile and a diet soda, truly inspirational.

Natalie — Still mad they forgot to add you to the listserv. If it makes you feel any better, they forgot me for the next party.

Lindsay — I loved your design and I love you as a person. I missed you in house this semester.

Lizzie — Thanks for letting another Hart into the house. I hope I lived up to the standard.

Casey — You took a wild shot in the dark with a very unfocused application three semesters ago. Thanks for all of this.

Chase— You still running that marathon with me? I’ve been training.

Design — I’m glad I never actually macheted any of you.

Sydney — You and Betsy are going to be my tour guides over break. Get ready.

Clare — I admire your transition from design to editorial. I hope you have fun in London.

Alex — I can’t tell you how happy I was to be your Rho Gamma. You’re so sweet, so strong, and such a secret spitfire. I’m glad you started here so young.

Jackie —Take care of Dara for me — Lord knows what she’ll get herself into.

KB — You were infuriating, but to your credit, you’re hilarious. I always like when you’re around.

Midge — Don’t be a stranger when you come back to California.

Laura, Michelle, Jules — Thanks for letting me be the most absentee roommate in the world. I wish I would have actually been able spend time at home, and even if I never did, it always meant a lot that you guys invited me to everything and tried to get me to skip work.

Brendan — We’ve come a long way in 4 years, but some things haven’t changed at all. I’m happy we’ve stayed such good friends through it all. You’ll always be my second-favorite Brendan — I’m sorry that siblings had to go first — and I’ll really miss your jokes next year.

Rest of the boys — You guys have stayed friends with me from my aggressive alcoholic year to my boring, neurotically domestic years and when my next extreme personality comes along, I’m sure you’ll still be there. I have no idea why. Come visit me on the best coast. I’ll miss you all a lot.

Becca, Kels, Dudy, Scoll, Emma — My ride or dies. You guys all think that I think you are stupid — it’s true, I do. But I can’t name any better friends. I love you all. Also, kelseyohira.com — check it out everyone.

To everyone I ran out of room for: I’m sorry I probably demanded stories from you, possibly threatened you, occasionally scared you. It was all out of love.

Published on April 28, 2015 at 3:31 am