I can picture it like it was yesterday. Standing in the elevator of my freshman dorm, I thought about what it would be like if I died. I had only been at school a couple days, and already I felt like I was not cut out for it. It had always been expected that I go to college, and here I was: alone, scared and helpless. I did not want to be at college, in this elevator, by myself. Yet, I could not think of anywhere else I wanted to be. I just wanted to stop existing.

I went into college depressed, and it dragged me down every second, every minute, every day. It is scary how close my story parallels that of UPenn student Madison Holleran, who committed suicide in January 2014. But I am still here.

Most people do not outright admit that they have depression. I know this from first-hand experience. But if you feel depressed, please get help and confide in the people you are close to for support. You do not have to struggle alone. The Counseling Center and the group therapy sessions they offer are helpful. I too know this from first-hand experience.

I don’t want attention for my depression. I don’t want people to apologize to me that I have these thoughts and feelings. I just want you to understand. I want you to not look at me any differently because I am still the same woman I was five minutes ago. The only difference is you now know part of what makes me, me. Depression does not, and will not ever, define me.

What I want is to be able to talk to others with depression and help them. Not talk to others with depression and have no idea that they experience the exact same feelings I do.

We are our minds. Mental health is important, and should receive more attention in the medical world today.

Take the time to educate yourself as you would with any other health issue. It could save a life. Perhaps even someone close to you who you don’t even realize is struggling. Ask others how their day is, and mean it. Simply showing a person you care makes all the difference.

Sarah Peck
Class of 2017

Published on April 26, 2015 at 11:05 pm