First off, how have we not correlated the image of Donald Trump seated in the White House Cabinet Room with him seated at the head of the table on “The Apprentice?” Seriously? The long brown conference table and fancy seats with him sitting at the head of it? I’m ashamed, not only as a comedian, but as an American, for not realizing this sooner.

A presidential cabinet is very important. The president only has enough time in the day and brains in his/her head to deal with the different facets of the executive branch. The president, hopefully, appoints people much smarter than they are to cabinet positions. For Trump, finding someone smarter than him will not be the hard part. Who he chooses, should he be elected president, is very important.

For example, the first cabinet spot has already been filled for Trump, and he’s picked Mike Pence as his running mate. That has swayed people to vote for or against him — not as much as Sarah Palin did for John McCain, obviously.

If we don’t have someone used to politics in the head spot, why would we one in any of the jobs helping him? Because Trump is a Washington outsider, he doesn’t have many politicians to choose from. But, he has dealt with many different celebrities in “The Apprentice” cabinet room, and could choose from there.

Occupying the very vital position of Secretary of State has to be “Celebrity Apprentice” Season 6 contestant Dennis Rodman. In his current tenure as Secretary of State, John Kerry has traveled to 89 different countries, but he hasn’t been to one of our biggest enemy territories — North Korea. What Rodman brings to the table is friendship with Kim Jong Un so we can figure out what is actually happening over there. Plus, the amount of juxtaposition in their friendship — mainly height — could relate to U.S.-North Korea relations and help us stop them from nuking us.

The Secretary of Agriculture is vital to our nation to ensure that the nation is fed well. Currently, Tom Vilsack is trying to do that, but wouldn’t it be much easier if someone who ran the cabinet wanted to feed the country so much, he changed his name to a food? If Donald Trump was as smart a businessman as he says, Meatloaf would be the nation’s Secretary of Agriculture.

Because Donald hasn’t had Superman on “The Apprentice,” a good choice for the Secretary of Defense would have to be Geraldo Rivera. As one of the only liberal voices on the very conservative Fox News channel, who else has had to defend themselves and their opinion more than Geraldo Rivera’s run since 1987.

George Takei has been outspoken against Donald Trump, but would he change his mind for a spot in the cabinet? As the former captain of the Starship Enterprise when he portrayed Sulu in “Star Trek,” it would be hard to find someone more qualified than Takei, who commanded a gigantic ship in a deep outer space journey, to take over the Secretary of Transportation’s position.

Since Arnold Schwarzenegger is busy taking over “The Apprentice” for Trump, he can’t be on the cabinet. Who else could lead the Department of Health and Human Services? Bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno definitely could teach a nation with a 36 percent obesity rate to get big in the non-fattening way. I mean, he was the Hulk.

One of the reasons America is so great is because of how beautiful it is. But, like many have said this election, the country has a lot of issues with its bridges, roads, etc. Season two star Khloe Kardashian as the Secretary of the Interior — design — will make America pretty again. I mean, have you seen her house?

Lastly, money and the economy are one of the most important topics in every election, which Trump already proclaims to know everything about. Who would help Trump deal with all of the governmental money better than the man who can literally make it appear from behind someone’s ear — Penn Jillette. Why wouldn’t we want the man in charge of our economic policy to be able to quickly summon a few quarters at any moment to ensure the economy stays stable?

Look, I’m not saying that Trump is surely going to pick these people for his cabinet position. He certainly hasn’t thought that far ahead. But, with the options he’s got and those who are willing to work with him, these might be the only cabinet options he’s got. Let’s just hope congress approves them all.

Josh Feinblatt is a sophomore television, radio, film major. You can follow him on Twitter @josh_is_fein or reach him at jfeinbla@syr.edu.

Published on September 28, 2016 at 9:15 pm