C

aitlin Defliese thought of her younger sister, Kerry Defliese, when she was offered a job in the summer of 2016. Caitlin was coaching at Stony Brook when Syracuse head coach Gary Gait called to offer her a position as his assistant coach. Professionally, Caitlin saw it as a good move. She’d be coaching a top-25 lacrosse team under a coach who’d been at SU for almost 10 years, at the time.

But she wouldn’t have been the only person affected by the decision. Caitlin’s sister, Defliese, was set to start playing for the Orange that fall after committing two years prior.

“Is it something you would want? It’s your experience, I don’t know if you want me to be there,” Defliese remembers Caitlin asking her. At first, Defliese was hesitant. It was a little weird for her, thinking that her sister would be coming to college with her, coaching her.

But she considered the positives. Her family was always very close, and their dad Bob coached Defliese and the second-youngest, Shannon. Caitlin even spent time coaching Defliese’s club team, the Yellowjackets.

For Syracuse lacrosse, familial ties are common. After graduating last year, Gait coached his daughter, Taylor, for the women’s team for five years. On the men’s team, the family tradition dates back to Roy Simmons Sr. coaching Roy Simmons Jr. in 1955. Current men’s head coach John Desko coached his son, Tim. And Kevin Donahue coached his son, Dylan, while his daughter, Riley, played for Gait. Lacrosse had brought the Defliese clan together, and now, it was keeping them that way.

“Family in lacrosse is a big tradition here. So I knew that at least I’d be in good company, and it wouldn’t be as strange or weird,” Caitlin said.

Caitlin and Defliese are separated by 10 years and three siblings. Caitlin is the oldest and Defliese, the youngest. Having Caitlin in Syracuse gave Defliese the opportunity to have someone around she trusted. Caitlin was there when Defliese suffered an injury that led to her redshirting her freshman season. She was there for Defliese’s return and when Defliese was asked to switch from midfielder to defender — Caitlin’s old position. In 2018, Defliese started all 19 games for the Orange and was second on the team in caused turnovers (15). Defliese is part of a No. 13 Orange unit that’s returning three of their starting defenders in 2019 as they look to rebound from their worst season in program history.

When they were younger, Caitlin was often in charge of watching Defliese while their family traveled for lacrosse tournaments and other sporting events. Defliese started seeing her sister as her second mom, Defliese said.

Lacrosse was a result of Caitlin’s influence — she was the first in the family to play. From the time she was old enough to play, Caitlin joined Bob at Garden City’s recreational lacrosse camps. Bob had never tried lacrosse but always wanted to, opting to coach the sport after he played football for Cortland. For two weeks in July, she would go to the camp and learn. When she reached the older age bracket, at about 10 or 11 years old, Caitlin started to help the younger kids. When her siblings were old enough, they followed.

“I know once we saw her doing something we were like, ‘We want to do that,’” Defliese said, “so she’s always been that role model for all of us.”

As the youngest, Defliese grew up traveling to tournaments and games, as well as the recreation camp. In the family’s den, there is an umbrella stand filled with mini lacrosse sticks and a brick wall designated for wall ball. Defliese practiced here, eventually moving to Garden City’s high school field where she played for Bob and won the 2016 New York state championship as MVP.

“We’re always playing something,” Defliese said, “Doing some dumb athletic game or something, no matter what it is we’re always doing something.”

While Defliese was developing her lacrosse skills, Caitlin was playing at the collegiate level as a defender at Boston University. During her time at BU, she made the NCAA Tournament all four years. After college, she became an assistant coach at Stony Brook. Then came the call from SU.

It wasn’t difficult for Caitlin and Defliese to figure out the player-coach dynamic. The 10-year age gap helped them build a relationship based on respect, Caitlin said. While in practice, the two agreed that Caitlin sometimes goes a little harder on her sibling. Defliese said she has grown “frustrated” at times with Caitlin because of the different dynamic like when she foregoes yelling at Defliese because it helps her respond better.

During the sister’s first year with the Orange, Defliese relied on Caitlin and the idea of home. She entered the first four games of the season as a midfielder, before recording her first career point on an assist to Mary Rahal against Binghamton.

Against Massachusetts on Feb. 25, Defliese went out with a concussion and, after missing multiple games for it, was awarded a redshirt. When Defliese was alone, she’d go to Caitlin’s house. There, Defliese, Caitlin and Caitlin’s husband Andrew Watkins would eat dinner together. The couple became Defliese’s “mom and dad” at SU.

This season, Syracuse will need the sisters, on both sides of the field, to help it return to the program’s winning ways.

“Having her almost take care of me, like she always does,” Defliese said, “it’s really nice.”

Photos by Max Freund | Staff Photographer