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Mitchell Harjo had to get something off his chest. After a late March rowing practice his freshman year, he felt distraught and emotional — unable to calm his thoughts. He had come out as gay to some of his close friends, but no one else knew.

Harjo walked to the boat bay and saw his coach, Jason Elefant, packing up for the end of the day. Holding back tears, Harjo managed to choke out the words “I’m gay.”

“My world had felt so different after that moment,” said Harjo, now a senior. “I started crying and (Elefant) gave me a hug.”

In the past decade, the NCAA has expanded its support of LGBTQ athletes, creating a 80-page resource guide in 2010 and partnering with several activist organizations to continue efforts toward inclusion. In 2017, Athlete Ally established the Athlete Equality Index, a scale that measures inclusivity within collegiate athletic departments. But there’s still work to be done nationwide to make all athletes comfortable, said Alyssa Hellrung, who teaches the University of Washington’s gender and sport course.

Syracuse’s athletic department scored a 65/100 on that first Athlete Equality Index ranking, though the number rose to 85 on its latest update in 2019. The index, which rates schools on eight criteria — including non-discrimination policies, LGBTQ resources and open allyship — gave SU a 0/10 for its lack of an LGBTQ athlete group, something Harjo and women’s lacrosse player Lila Nazarian said they would benefit from.

“The biggest thing when you’re a young person who’s queer or LGBTQ, is to feel like you have people who are like you, but you are not separated from your community,” Nazarian said.

After coming out to his team, Harjo felt like he had something to prove, he said. He didn’t want his teammates to think of him as weaker or less masculine because he was gay, so he started a mental competition between him and his teammates. If he outperformed them, Harjo felt like that proved he was masculine enough to fit in.

“I didn’t just want to be the gay guy on the team and not be able to perform well,” Harjo said.

At Syracuse, there are no out athletes currently on the football or men’s basketball team, despite these two teams having 120 players combined, Harjo said. A reason for that might be the national spotlight those sports attract, he said, and many of these players have hopes of playing professionally after college and wouldn’t want scouts looking at them differently.

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“The consequences (of coming out) don’t feel as heavy for me as they would for a football or basketball player to go professionally,” Harjo said.

In 2014, All-American Missouri defensive end Michael Sam experienced just that. He came out as gay three months before the NFL draft and two weeks before the scouting combine — becoming the first NFL draftee to do so. Previously projected as a third-round pick, Sam fell to the seventh round and was released by the Rams after playing in multiple preseason games.

Former Syracuse women’s lacrosse player Michelle Tumolo, who is gay, has also noticed intolerance in men’s sports. While some professional men’s lacrosse teams have pride nights or make team statements supporting the LGBTQ community, there is always some pushback — especially on social media.

“I don’t know any men’s lacrosse players (that are out),” Tumolo said. “There needs to be a platform where lacrosse is for everyone.”

Earlier this year, Tumolo — a U.S. National team player and one of the most decorated women’s lacrosse players in Syracuse history — created her own brand called MT35 to promote LGBTQ openness and inclusion. A percent of proceeds from shirts sold goes toward the U.S. Lacrosse LGBTQ+ inclusion scholarship.

“It’s so important to be authentic because of how much it might help someone else,” Tumolo said.

After coming out during her senior year of high school, Tumolo decided she’d never hide her sexuality. She was very open at Syracuse from 2010-13, and said that her teammates and coaches were always very accepting. That comfort allowed her to be the best athlete she could be, she said, though she recognizes that not everyone on her team had that same experience.

In recent years, Tumolo’s noticed an increase in the number of people in collegiate and professional lacrosse who are out or a vocal ally. Syracuse Athletics has added new guidelines and initiatives to increase inclusivity, including a pro-LGBTQ equality statement — one of the Athlete Equality Index’s criteria.

“We’ve made huge strides, even in the four-and-a-half years I’ve been here,” Nazarian said.

Since Nazarian’s freshman year, the Syracuse Student-Athlete Advisory Committee has added an equity committee and has more LGBTQ representation, she said. She also hears other athletes talking about the gay and trans rights movements more frequently, and has never been rejected by her teammates because of her sexuality. No topics are “off limits” with her teammates, and she knows she can talk about her relationships and personal life.

Former University of Washington soccer player Anna Miller didn’t have the same experience, though. When she arrived on campus, she noticed that despite UW being overall progressive, she couldn’t be open about her sexuality. Hellrung, the UW professor, said many other athletes and coaches have told her the same thing.

“No one was being openly bullied or openly harassed or anything,” Hellrung said. ”But there was definitely secrecy around all of that.”

Collegiate athletics departments tend to have more geographic diversity than the rest of the school because teams recruit students from around the country and world, Hellrung said. A school with a “progressive” student body may comparatively have a more conservative and less inclusive athletics department as a result.

Lila Nazarian said she has never been rejected by her teammates because of her sexuality and that no topics are “off limits” with her team. Corey Henry | Senior Staff Photographer

Although Syracuse Athletics does not publish statistics on where their athletes are from, or their sexual orientation, Harjo agreed that Hellrung’s assessment seems like it applies to SU as well.

Multiple athletes agreed SU could benefit from a LGBTQ athlete group, but Hellrung said those student-led efforts often fail to make lasting change in athletics departments. While the students may agree with the cause, if they don’t have administrative support, it tends to die out.

“There’s an attitude of, this student is making noise. They’re trying to do a thing,” Hellrung said. “(But) there’s a lot of bureaucracy, and they’re going to be gone in a few years anyway.”

Hellrung said many gay people are pushed away from sports before college because they feel like they don’t belong. A coach’s attitude toward the community can affect how comfortable student-athletes are. Coaches that are out or vocal allies show members of the team that they have a support system.

After that practice in March 2018, Harjo admitted that Elefant’s acceptance of him after he came out was one of the most important factors. Standing next to the water, hugging his coach, Elefant told him that everything would be okay.

“The boathouse is a safe place for you.”

Published on October 14, 2020 at 11:56 pm

aekaylor@syr.edu | @cincinnallie