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Despite her roles in various sitcoms, Jennette McCurdy wasn’t born with a natural knack for comedy.

“I played funny characters, but I didn’t really have (a sense of humor),” McCurdy said. “My sense of humor was just awful initially. I was just a nightmare.”

McCurdy, who released her bestselling memoir, “I’m Glad My Mom Died” this summer, shared this as well as other stories and insights with eager Syracuse University students and Syracuse community members Saturday during a conversation hosted by University Union.

Throughout the event, the actress and author focused on the mental health topics covered in her memoir and her personal experiences writing such a vulnerable and honest book. She offered advice to audience members who might be struggling with similar mental health issues, and discussed how writing her book helped in her healing process.

Some students, like freshman Elah Block, came because of their nostalgic view of McCurdy from her years on shows like “iCarly” and “Sam and Cat,” but left with much more than they expected.

“I know a lot of kids and students at SU and all around the world are struggling with a lot of the things she was talking about. Personally, I do struggle with mental health and I think it was relatable to a certain degree,” Block said. “It was just very nice to hear that I’m not necessarily alone.”

McCurdy’s memoir follows her teen years through her early twenties, covering her experiences with her mother’s abuse as well as how she healed once her mother died. Student moderator Naimah Rahman asked McCurdy about balancing addressing hard and traumatic topics while still making the reader feel comfortable and entertained.

“That’s how reality is,” McCurdy said. “I’ve never had a phase of my life that’s been just dramatic or just comedic. It’s usually both, happening at the same time in the same room.”

Rahman was overjoyed at the opportunity to moderate the conversation, and said she spent two weeks researching McCurdy and her book.

“I read the book, I listened excessively to podcasts she was on. (I watched) interviews that she’s liked, watched interviews that she’s hated, to know what not to do,” Rahman said. “I wanted to make her feel comfortable.”

Much of McCurdy’s struggles came when she was 18 to 20 years old. When she was 18, her mother was diagnosed with cancer for a second time, and eventually succumbed to her diagnosis when McCurdy was 21 years old.

McCurdy stressed to the audience how poor mental health is not an excuse for abuse. McCurdy said she spent considerable time talking with therapists, who, in an attempt to explain her mother’s behavior, theorized various diagnoses her mother might have had, such as bipolar, borderline personality or narcissistic disorder.

“I think I was looking for a deeper sense of empathy for my mom and the abuse that I endured from her, and finding some way to make sense of it,” McCurdy said.

Though McCurdy tackled hard topics, the audience continued laughing, smiling and applauding throughout the conversation.

During a Q&A session at the end of the event, Junior Amanda Marzouk asked McCurdy about the different ways she has dealt with self-loathing and lack of self confidence outside of therapy. She said she appreciated learning about McCurdy on a more personal level as well as her thought process while writing the book.

“Getting to see her in person and really sharing her story tells me how genuine of a person she is,” Marzouk said. “She really puts meaning into every little thing that she says.”

McCurdy said ultimately her happiness was often stunted by her people pleasing ways. Her biggest piece of advice to her audience was to have a strong understanding of one’s boundaries and oneself.

“If it isn’t a ‘hell yes,’ it’s a ‘no,’” McCurdy said. “That truly changed my life.”

Published on November 13, 2022 at 2:35 am