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While many people associate the holiday season with happiness and cheer, this is not the reality for everyone. The holidays can bring about familial conflicts, past trauma and seasonal blues, leaving people feeling helpless and alone during a time that is often called “the most wonderful time of the year.”

As many students head home for winter break, they may be worried about the challenges of being back home for an extended period of time. According to a study by the American Psychiatric Association in November of 2021, 49% of young adults, ages 18-34, said they were anticipating their level of stress to increase around the holidays.

Brian Hamilton, a staff therapist at the Barnes Center at the Arch, recognizes that the holidays can be a difficult, stressful time for a number of reasons. He said the root of the problem can sometimes be biological— a lack in vitamin D along with the shortening days can often play a huge role in our moods. For some people, however, vitamin D may not be the issue.

During a time where family relations and gatherings are so prominent, the holidays can be especially hard for those who already find their homelife to be a difficult place to come back to. Hamilton acknowledged this struggle, saying it’s especially hard for young adults because they may not have a choice but to spend time with the family members who are triggering or uncomfortable for them to be around.

“Some may be triggered by seeing certain family members that could re-open unresolved emotional scars. Some could be missing a family member that’s passed,” Hamilton said. “Some may feel the financial strain (or) pressure of gift giving, and the list goes on.”

Especially at a small campus like Syracuse University, it is easy to find yourself feeling enclosed from the real world, somewhat out of touch with reality, said SU sophomore Dylan Oratz. This independence and escape can be a good thing for students, but also negative once they are forced to leave for break.

“I love being around my friends. So it almost feels like it’s a little bit of a culture shock going back home,” Oratz said. “I feel like Syracuse just has such a campus that feels like a bubble. So when you leave that, it’s weird to feel in the real world again.”

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Deborah Margolis, the Dean of the Winston School of Education and Social Policy at Merrimack College, said that another common issue young adults face during this season is the pressure they put on the holidays to be picture perfect.

Whether that pressure is put on finding the ideal gifts or hosting the best party, the constant expectations can sometimes feel more like a burden than a celebration, Margolis said.

“Our culture sells a message of holiday bliss even though the reality for many people is different. If people are expecting a magical, blissful experience and the reality falls short, they can feel down and disappointed,” Margolis said.

Though the holiday stress, depression and anxiety can feel overwhelming and isolating, there are ways to improve your overall well-being and distract your mind from the things that may be triggering these feelings. Allison Theis, a licensed clinical social worker and training associate at the Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation at Boston University, explained that by setting boundaries that affirm one’s values and comfort levels, the burden of holiday stress and taxing relationships can be alleviated.

“Sometimes we need to do what’s best for our souls, rather than aim to please others. I think it’s important to have a plan ahead of time,” Theis said. “I also think if you have the ability to connect with supportive people, make time to do so. Everyone struggles in their own way, and sharing those experiences can help people feel less lonely.”

Mental struggles look and feel different for everyone. A coping mechanism used by one person may not be the correct solution for another person. Taking the time to yourself to find what helps you will benefit you in the long run, Hovick said.

“I believe during the holidays it is extremely important to take breaks for yourself,” Hovick said. “Whether you get up early and offer to walk the dog, or enjoy reading by a fire at night, or go out for coffee or something with a friend or supportive person you have around you, there are ways to get out of those situations to take time for you.”

This year, Hamilton suggests putting less effort into impressing the judgmental relatives that never seem to give you the response you are looking for.

This can look different for everyone, but both Margolis and Hamilton suggest turning off social media for a while, reaching out to a trusted friend, getting outside and even reaching out to a primary care provider or a professional hotline.

If you are struggling around the holidays, it is important to know that, despite the cheerful faces on TV and the upbeat songs on the radio, you are not alone, Margolis said. She stressed that the unrealistic standards set by our culture are not something to compare your own experiences with. Try to also remember that at some points, Margolis said, the best gifts we can give are to ourselves.

“Do not feel guilty or let others make you feel that way because you deserve to be made a priority as well,” Hamilton said. “Everyone is worthy of an unbiased, safe and productive opportunity to process their experiences.”

Published on December 12, 2022 at 8:54 pm