Local senior living community residents reflect on their lives for As Young As You Feel Day
Meghan Hendricks | Photo Editor
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March 22 is national As Young As You Feel Day, a day to defy ageist stereotypes and embody the phrase “age is just a number.” But for residents at Brookdale Summerfield Independent Living, such barriers are smashed 365 days of the year, no matter their age or gender, epitomizing what it means to be young at heart.
Tom Gaughan, 79
When Tom Gaughan got down on one knee in front of his future wife Karen, she had proposals of her own. Karen had four requirements, Gaughan said, before she agreed to marry him — they would have six boys, she and the children would spend a month in Cape Cod, Tom would get a good job, their children would be educated, she would continue to ski, Tom would learn to ski and the family would take ski trips together.
Now, Gaughan recalls that pivotal conversation with his soon-to-be wife and attributes that moment as the catalyst to why, today, he confidently calls his life “pretty much perfect.”
“I’ve been very successful in my life, and it’s because of the woman I married and the advice I got from her,” Gaughan said.
Gaughan built a successful insurance career in central New York. Initially, he entered the workforce in the real estate business, following in his father’s footsteps. But with a mild recession in 1969, the real estate market wasn’t incredibly profitable, so he made a change.
Gaughan pursued grocery insurance, working with independent grocers for roughly 31 years, with competitive rates that boosted him to the top of his field. But Gaughan explained he didn’t just work for the money. He loved his job for the people he met and for learning something new every day.
“I always tell people to find what they love, because then you’ll never work,” Gaughan said. “Then they’ll be like me. I’m wealthy, I have a wonderful family and we have a lot of fun. That’s what life is about.”
Dorothy “Dottie” Riener, 100
Just a month ahead of her 101st birthday, Dorothy “Dottie” Riener has a piece of advice she wants to make crystal clear — don’t give up on the short guys.
Dottie, who always believed her “Mr. Right” needed to be tall, dark and handsome, was swept off her feet when she met high school sweetheart Charles “Chuck” Riener, who stood 5’5” tall.
“(My husband) was short and cute with a terrific sense of humor,” Dottie said. “We were married for 78 years, and I loved him from the day I met him.”
Dottie met her “five foot ball of fire” when she was 20 and Charles was 22. Married during World War II, Dottie and Chuck were separated for the first four years of their marriage, on and off, since Chuck was serving in the Air Force. Riener explained that her husband was deployed to the Mariana Islands, where the first tests of atomic bombs were conducted that eventually won the war.
After the war ended, Chuck earned his degree in medical photography at the present-day Rochester Institute of Technology under the provisions of the GI bill. He took a job at the Syracuse VA Medical Center — where Dottie, who had taken business classes in high school, began working as a secretary.
Dottie explained that neither she nor her husband’s careers were the priority in their lives, but rather their jobs provided them the financial means to achieve their true life goals — fun and adventure with their three children. The first home they purchased together was large and expensive, Dottie said, and shortly after, the couple decided to downsize, in order to achieve their true goals.
“We sold the big house and bought a smaller one in the same area, and went out and bought a travel trailer,” Dottie said. “We drove all over the country in that with our kids. Together we did 46 of the 48 states.”
As she reflects on the century she’s spent on Earth, Dottie said she believes travel allowed her to widen her lens of perspective and appreciation of culture, beyond the world of central New York. By finding a partner who shared her values and shared her earnest zest for life, Dottie has had countless adventures and believes everyone should experience that too.
But most of all, Dottie never succumbed to stereotypes and instead built a life with the person she loved, she said, which made all the difference.
“My words of advice will always be don’t give up on the short guys,” Dottie said. “One could change your life.”
Madeline Hall, 93
At 93 years old, with tall stature and a soft-spoken voice, Madeline Hall believes in patience. Madeline, who was born in Texas and moved to Syracuse when she was a child, holds education, goals and the lessons we can learn from children, paramount.
“You have to be kind to children and take your time with them …. but we don’t offer that patience with ourselves,” Madeline said. “I believe in nurturing all people with patience. Taking your time and making sure they understand.”
Madeline’s compassion and patience stood out in her work as both a hospital administrator at the Syracuse VA Medical Center and as a religious education instructor in First Communion classes at Corpus Christi Church in South Onondaga, where she herself was a devout parishioner her entire life.
But Madeline’s deepest love, she said, was for her late husband James Hall. James, whom Madeline called the “best-looking man that ever lived here,” was an electrical contractor and shared two children with Madeline— Deborah Ann and Randy.
With her husband, her church community and her active social life, Madeline believes she was motivated to learn new things and changed for the better. Believing that people are inherently social and wither in isolation, Madeline always fought to break out of her comfort zone and broaden her perspectives.
“Become involved, don’t be by yourself … it keeps you thinking better,” Madeline said. “It keeps you physically and mentally active.”
Together, Madeline and James Hall raised their children and lived a long, happy life together. Madeline always instilled in her children the significance of goal-setting — to have aspirations for their lives and careers — and now, encourages all young people to do the same.
But Hall also emphasized that it’s impossible to achieve your goals without properly taking care of yourself. So, she said, all people should treat their bodies with respect by exercising and eating well in order to realize their potential.
“What do you want to be in life? What do you want to do? And (young people) should eat properly, so many of them don’t,” Madeline said. “Everyone should have goals they want to accomplish and eat a good meal.”
Bianca Sabene, 95
Trentino, Italy cannot take credit for luxury brands like Gucci or Prada, nor the automotive giants like Maserati or Ferrari. In fact, according to native Bianca Sabene, the northern region of Italy was devoid of anything glamorous or noteworthy in her eyes, aside from the occasional yodeler whose voice floated through the air.
For Sabene, that’s why knowledge was such a powerful instrument and the priest who introduced her to the world of the arts and changed her life.
“He talked to me one day, and he said ‘what do you want to do in life?’ And I said ‘I want to know everything,’” Sabene said. “I just wanted to see and smell and figure out everything I could. Without it, my heart would be completely broken.”
That priest introduced Sabene to writing, reading, art and music — bringing her new materials in the sidecar of a motorbike each week — and opened doors to her she never looked behind before. When she emigrated to the U.S., she continued her insatiable hunger for learning and has never stopped since.
What do you want to be in life? What do you want to do? And (young people) should eat properly, so many of them don’t. Everyone should have goals they want to accomplish and eat a good meal.Madeline Hall, resident at Brookdale Summerfield Independent Living
When she met her husband, an encounter Sabene recalled as love at first sight, she said she found exactly what she needed in a partner. Where she brought adventure and spontaneity, her husband offered stability and tranquility and together, they formed an ideal parenting team for their two children.
After seeing the 1961 “West Side Story” film in theaters, Sabene said her husband fell so in love with Tony’s heartfelt ballad “Maria” that he knew they needed a second daughter, and her name would be Maria. Twelve years after their first child, Maria was born.
“He said ‘let’s have another baby.’ Everyone thought she was an accident, but she was not,” Sabene said.
Even though most of Sabene’s life raising her daughters was spent in central New York, Sabene never lost her Italian roots. She said she sought to incorporate elements of her culture at home in her children and practice them every day in her own life.
“My grandma said, ‘when you walk out the door, you can turn right or you can turn left. But either way, help somebody.’ And that’s my religion,” Sabene said. “That’s what makes me a happy person.”
That’s why, Sabene said, she wasn’t afraid of aging and instead welcomed it. By learning three languages aside from English, constantly reading and always finding new ways to stimulate her mind, Sabene said she prepared for her old age and kept her brain “alive,” allowing her the serenity of having no regrets.
Knowledge can be a superpower or weakness, depending on what you fill your brain with, Sabene said. So, she said, happiness and success are a matter of filling your mind and life with “the good stuff,” whether you are 25 or approaching 96.
“I’m supposed to be this old, quiet Italian Catholic lady … ain’t gonna happen,” Sabene said. “I’m nearly 96 and I’m so filled with joy in life. I have never felt so alive.”
Published on March 22, 2023 at 9:28 pm