When the average Joe/Josephine hears the phrase “March Madness,” they probably think of basketball, fun tailgates, school spirit and the enigma that is “Otto.”

When I talk about March Madness, the first thing you should know is that I’m not talking about basketball. No, I’m talking about a much more serious issue, one that’s been prominent in our nation for years but has been overshadowed by a basketball tournament that was created to distract people from the problem.

You see, March is a month in which students slowly begin to go insane. This happens for a number of reasons.

In the beginning of March comes the reminder that you’re going to have at least three midterms in the approaching weeks. With this sudden realization, a variety of emotions will occur.

You’ll get stressed because you haven’t been paying attention in class. You’ll get tired because you’re going to stay up all night stressing. You’ll probably get hungry, but not because you’re actually hungry — you’re just stressed.

Then, spring break comes: this week sounds appealing, but really it just serves as a means to explore different kinds of madness. You may go mad from alcohol usage, either in a tropical paradise or a basement somewhere. You may go mad from sobriety at home. Either way, you’re going to go mad.

Also around the time of spring break comes St. Patrick’s Day, and this is probably the day that will send you over the edge. This fact is for one reason and one reason alone: leprechauns.

I don’t know how they came about, but those things are scary. I remember walking into my third-grade class on March 17, and the entire room was covered in toilet paper and the desks were tipped over. “Who could do such a destructive thing?” I asked myself. According to my teacher, it was a leprechaun.

So, if you like neat things and ceilings without toilet paper, March 17 is going to be one heck of a day for you.

After St. Patrick’s Day, you’d think things would start to calm down. The leprechauns are gone for the year, you’re feeling safe…

And then it hits you. The semester is almost over. Where did the time go? In a few short weeks, your freshman, sophomore, junior or even senior year will be over. You’re aging so fast.

During the remaining weeks of March, you will be consumed by the fear of having not that much time left at Syracuse and will probably have at least 13 existential crises.

But don’t fret — once April comes, the weather will start getting kind of warm, and you’ll forget all about your troubles as you lay on the quad in shorts and a tank top in 50-degree weather.

You will get through March Madness. It may not be easy, but if we all come together as a school, we can fight it together. Who knows, maybe a different kind of madness will ensue when our Orange returns to its rightful spot in the supremacy — and that goes to both the men’s and women’s teams. GO CUSE.

Annabeth Grace Mann is a sophomore film major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at agmann@syr.edu.

Published on February 25, 2018 at 8:43 pm