White letters on a green sign paralyzed Jonathan Hagman. After a late-night flight from Sweden to New York, Hagman had piled into a rental car with his dad and started the trek to a city and a program he barely understood.

A tidal wave of self-doubt washed over him. He was young and nervous, he said later. Just outside of Binghamton, on Interstate 81, Hagman pinpointed the source of his unease in block letters: “Syracuse.”

“I don’t think I actually was ready to go, mentally,” Hagman said. “That was the first time I felt this was real, ‘Now I’m actually here. Soon I’ll be in Syracuse starting my new life.’”

Hagman, now a senior, originally came to Syracuse because he never earned the pro contract he dreamt of in Sweden. Within 10 days of his life’s goal slipping away, he committed to SU, like many European players before him. Since then, he’s become one of Syracuse’s (2-1) top producers. He’s totaled 11 points (five goals) in back-to-back seasons. A strong fall from Hagman could lead SU back to the NCAA Tournament, which it missed for the first time in four years last season. It can also bring him to Major League Soccer next spring, where recent Orange draftees like Miles Robinson and Mo Adams have thrived.

Syracuse head coach Ian McIntyre called Hagman an “example of what hard work and commitment brings.” Before Hagman scored game-winners, he was a role player at best. His path — having his confidence torn down, then built back up during his first season — makes him the latest in a long line of international standouts for the Orange.

“He just grew as a player and as a person in those first couple months,” Oskar Sewerin, his former teammate, said. “I think he kept on going on the same path that many of the other European players that have been in the same shoes before him.”

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A few elements contributed to Hagman’s lackluster first year.

Consider the hype: Months before Hagman stepped on campus, his name floated around Syracuse practices. Hagman played in the youth academy of top Swedish club AIK Fotboll. After reviewing Hagman’s film and meeting with him once, associate head coach Jukka Masalin offered Hagman a scholarship.

Back in Syracuse, Masalin, a Finland native, bragged about his new acquisition to his “boys” — Europeans like Louis Cross (England), Oyvind Alseth (Norway) and Sewerin (Sweden). Cross said Hagman came in with a “big reputation.” They also knew, however, that the freshman they called “Haggis” wouldn’t make an immediate impact.

“I think we all had really high expectations,” Alseth said. “We knew he played at a high level in Sweden. He showed flashes of what he could do. … But I think Jonathan would be the first to tell you that he wasn’t the most prepared.”

Consider the place: Hagman traveled to the U.S. once before enrolling. He recognized Syracuse only as an east coast city. Hagman relied on his father, Anders, throughout the whirlwind early practices. Hagman shuffled from international student check-in to countless meetings, to room assignments, to more meetings.

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“I was just sitting there and listening to people,” Hagman said. “It was a lot to keep track of.”

Anders provided a “calmness.” Their first night in Syracuse, they went to Pastabilities, not knowing its popularity beforehand. Two days later, though, Hagman watched his dad start the journey back home, leaving Hagman alone and underprepared.

Masalin was “alarmed” to find Hagman out of shape when the team arrived for the preseason. He didn’t recognize the same player he boasted about months earlier.

Consider the language barrier: Hagman had studied formal English, a mandated course in Swedish schools, since the first grade. He handled himself in the classroom but felt lost on the pitch.

Teammates recalled Hagman acting shy. He wasn’t vocal in practice. Hagman said he was “anonymous.”

Hagman depended on words SU teaches all its international players in a “crash course.”  Terms like “squeeze up” created problems. Syracuse deploys a 3-5-2 formation, with an emphasis on pressuring the opposition. Squeezing up means making the field smaller to force a turnover. Hagman knew the literal definition of squeeze but was confused on how it applied to a defensive tactic.

Hagman sought and found “calmness” by talking to Sewerin in Swedish. He called home more too. But the language gap materialized in his day-to-day life. He repeated stories to teammates that didn’t understand him. They stared back at him blankly. He couldn’t find the right words.

“You get frustrated with yourself and with the other people,” Hagman said. “I am speaking English. I’m not speaking a foreign language.”

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On the pitch, Hagman battled for playing time in a crowded midfield during his freshman season. In 11 games, he didn’t register a point.

But those close to Hagman said he came into spring practice in 2016 as a “completely new person.” Masalin distinguished him as the team’s fittest player. Sewerin noticed Hagman’s grasp of English idioms, like “What’s up?” and realized Hagman adjusted just like Sewerin had at the University of New Haven two years prior.

Hagman forced English into his life. He and Andreas Jenssen, his roommate from Norway, made a pact to only speak English to one another. Hagman did the same when he hung out with other Scandinavian teammates. The team competed in FIFA, cards and Settlers of Catan, a board game in which players colonize a fictional island. The games served two purposes: to build chemistry and to develop European players’ English. Slowly, Hagman acclimated himself in the environment he once feared.

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“It was doing things like that to basically embarrass yourself a little bit if you lost,” Alseth said. “That helps you with getting to know people, getting comfortable around the other guys.”

The comfort level off the field spurned confidence on it. By his sophomore season, coaches and players now saw the Hagman they heard about before his arrival. He appeared in the first three games of the 2016 season, recording an assist in a double overtime victory over Loyola Marymount.

Sewerin tabbed Hagman as an “attacking-minded” player in the midfield. In his freshman year, Hagman played it safe, Sewerin said, often avoiding risks. He didn’t trust himself. Versus St. John’s on Sept. 4, 2016, he had to.

Hagman expected to start against St. John’s but again found himself on the bench. But instead of focusing on his inability to crack the lineup — the self-doubt he dwelled on so often behind him — he prepared for opportunity.

Deadlocked at two goals apiece in double overtime, the Orange was awarded a throw-in near the penalty area. Hagman positioned himself a few feet from the box. After a deflected header, he played the ball down and volleyed it top-shelf, capping off a 3-2 win with his first career goal. Hagman sprinted to the corner flag and teammates bombarded him.

After the game, Hagman led a chant in the SU locker room, an honor typically awarded to a top performer. In a postgame party, his teammates serenaded him with a personalized tune:

“Johnny Hagman, you’re the the love of my life,” they sang.

“It meant so much to me,” Hagman said. “In that moment, I knew I could do it. … I think I understood that was the turning point. It was the best feeling in the world.”

In his sophomore year, Hagman started 16 games. He finished tied for second on the team in points.

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Hagman prophesized a similar fast-start in his junior year. He scored the equalizer late against St. Louis in the season opener and tallied five goals in seven games. Yet, he didn’t record a point in the team’s last nine contests. Syracuse went 2-6-1 in those games, en route to its first losing campaign in six years.

Hagman doesn’t know why he sputtered. He felt the similar pang of disappointment. But this time, he knew his teammates could help. After bad losses, like a lifeless performance against North Carolina State on Oct. 6, the team gathered and rewatched the game hours after it concluded.

“You have to turn it into something positive,” Hagman said. “We knew we had a good team, it just didn’t work.”

This past August, Hagman hopped back on I-81 with teammate Hendrik Hilpert and saw the sign again. Like the last time, he thought about his future. And again, he tried not to. The MLS, his next step, represents another adjustment period. But in that moment, he focused on the homestretch of his collegiate career and pushed forward. He knew where he was headed.

“I’ve been through final fours,” Hagman said. “I’ve been here when we didn’t make the tournament. I can learn from that and help the new guys get settled. I can tell them to be patient because it doesn’t happen right away.”

Published on September 5, 2018 at 9:49 pm

Contact Nick: nialvare@syr.edu | @nick_a_alvarez