UPDATED: Oct. 1, 2018 at 12:17 a.m.

Hilli Goldhar didn’t know how to react. Goldhar, who’s listed at 5-foot-9-inches and appears shorter, is an easy target for SU head coach Ian McIntyre’s buffoonery. Goldhar worried the physicality of the college game would be his undoing. In one practice, McIntyre took advantage of the fear: He said he didn’t feel bad when Goldhar got knocked down.

“He’ll take a little jab at you and you’re like “‘Wait what, did he just say that?’” Goldhar said. “Usually he’s joking …”

He paused and his eyes widened.

“I think, at least,” Goldhar continued.

McIntyre uses humor in many of his interactions with Syracuse (3-4-1, 0-3-0 Atlantic Coast) to lighten the mood of the team. He said his most effective and frequent style of humor is sarcasm. (That’s not a compliment, he said. McIntyre said his grandmother used to say sarcasm is “the lowest form of wit.”) Hit or miss, McIntyre makes humor a part of his everyday routine. At least, he wants to.

When asked about the team’s process of maturing, he said he has “a lot less hair.” When referring to the differences Delhommelle brings to the role formerly employed by Syracuse player and Major League Soccer draft pick Mo Adams he said, “He brings a beard for that role, a lot more facial hair.” McIntyre added that they are just as difficult to understand (Adams had a thick British accent) and Delhommelle’s “thick French accent at times is alarming.” When asked about the birth of his go-to formation (the 3-5-2), McIntyre cited his experience: “I played in black and white (color of TV broadcasts) days . We didn’t have shoes. Barefoot soccer.”

He has claimed Formula One racer Lewis Hamilton was the “spitting image” of himself and commented on the size of reporters’ notebooks. The question still remains, though — McIntyre tells a lot of jokes, but is he funny?

Michael Lantry admitted there are “awkward” moments in practice. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference when McIntyre makes rapid switches from seriousness to joking, Jan Breitenmoser said. Players were quick to applaud his ability to put on a serious face before games, but only after they cracked a grin when asked about the best jokes McIntyre has told. Even the family-friendly form.

“Nope,” Goldhar said. “No clean version.”

Breitenmoser said McIntyre is most funny when he picks on a single player. Delhommelle said the whole coaching staff teams up to make fun of his accent. Goldhar is McIntyre’s target of choice this year, Delhommelle said, often pointing out Goldhar’s short stature and his affinity for small shirts. But the worst moments come from when he addresses the team as a whole.

Delhommelle said the team expects a joke or weird line from McIntyre in the locker room prior to a game. When McIntyre walks in, he’ll find something to make fun of: an outfit or the music. Prior to Syracuse’s Sept. 8, 2017 matchup with Virginia in Charlottesville, Va., the Orange were in the midst of a weather delay and McIntyre barged into the locker room and commanded that someone tell a joke to lighten the mood. Delhommelle volunteered and said what he admitted was a bad joke: “What do you call an American bee? A USB.”

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Delhommelle remembered the locker room laughed. But McIntyre didn’t get it. McIntyre tried to make fun of Delhommelle, but he didn’t have the team on his side. Most didn’t laugh.

The senior, who transferred from Lander College, said his relationship with McIntyre has gotten to the point where the two can exchange jabs back and forth. But not all share that luxury. Freshmen, like Goldhar, are easier targets. But McIntyre spreads his jokes around. In one practice, Djimon Johnson laughed as Goldhar was picked on. Delhommelle said McIntyre reminded Johnson of where he stood.

“You were my target last year,” Delhommelle remembered McIntyre said to Johnson. “You don’t have anything to say.”

The freshmen don’t understand his humor, either. But that’s the funniest part.

Some players try to refrain their laughter to make McIntyre uncomfortable. Others — mostly freshmen — think they have to at least smile because “he’s the coach.” Some, such as Tajon Buchanan and Len Zeugner, can hold a straight face with relative ease.

“Mac’s horrible at jokes,” Jukka Masalin said. “No one’s laughing at that.”

McIntyre’s not a comedian, but he tries. And that’s funny, players said.

“Ian McIntyre? Is he funny?” Hilpert asked. “I think he tries very hard. I’m not saying that he’s not funny. But (all) I’m telling you is that he tries very hard.

“I hope that statement is enough.”

Of the 11 players and coaches interviewed by The Daily Orange, four said he was funny, four said he’s sometimes funny, two acknowledged that he tries and one (Goldhar) said he isn’t funny at all — that differentiated from his stance earlier in the season, when he struggled to distinguish McIntyre’s humor from his seriousness.

“Maybe he doesn’t actually feel bad for me that I am (getting knocked over),” Goldhar said. “I hope he does.”

For McIntyre, it’s important that he doesn’t take himself seriously every once in a while. As Masalin put it, the Orange “spend a sh*t load of time together.” If the mood was always down, then the Orange would have trouble coming together when it matters.

McIntyre isn’t overly impressed with his own level of humor. He knows players try not to laugh, and he hardly ever gets any laughs when he jokes around, McIntyre said.

So, is he funny?

“On a 0-10 (scale)?” McIntyre asked. “Probably a four.”

CORRECTION: In a previous version of this story, Hugo Delhommelle was misquoted. The Daily Orange regrets this error. 

Published on September 30, 2018 at 11:09 pm

Contact Michael: mmcclear@syr.edu | @MikeJMcCleary