Model shares her family’s struggle with depression
Second chances at life are few and far between, but Phillip Aronson got his while watching his own brother die of on a hospital bed from a combination of brain cancer and depression. Aronson, who had also been diagnosed with depression, knew how damaging it could be to a life. He was finally offered one last important piece of advice from his brother though which would eventually help him through it.
‘I know where you’re going and you’re not ready to go there … you have a beautiful wife and daughter here,’ his brother said. The day after his brother’s death, the comment helped him see life in ways a devoted wife, therapists and young daughter could not, Aronson said.
Aronson’s recovery is the subject of a book written with his wife, Emme: ‘Morning Has Broken: A Couple’s Journey Through Depression.’ The couple – both 1985 graduates of Syracuse University’s College of Visual and Performing Arts – shared scenes from the book as well as information about depression Friday during a book signing session in the SU Bookstore. The speakers openly delved into detailed descriptions of their two-year span of traumatic events before audience questioning even began.
Phillip Aronson started by admitting the couple was originally very hesitant about opening their private struggles through published material. At the same time, they were continually urged by friends to tell their story. The couple eventually saw the book as a chance to justify their experience, Aronson said.
The Aronsons also had the advantage of Emme’s public platform. The supermodel, television host and author was chosen twice by People magazine as one of the ’50 Most Beautiful People.’ She is also the first full-figured woman to receive a cosmetics contract. Aronson’s wife played a large role in helping him piece together the events surrounding his depression and attempted suicide.
‘We kept sharing, talking, laughing, crying and everything else in between,’ said Phillip Aronson as he described the editing process. ‘It was very cathartic for me … if we can share, we can initiate some change.’
The Aronsons illustrated characteristic symptoms and solutions for depression through comedic and emotional anecdotes. Many people do not realize that depression targets people like any other disease regardless of age or socioeconomic status, and in varying degrees, Aronson said.
‘It’s an equal opportunity disease,’ Phillip Aronson quipped. ‘Friends would say, ‘What’s the problem? You have a beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, a flourishing career. Snap out of it.’ And I’d say, ‘Don’t you think I’d snap out of it if I could?”
Aronson’s genetic predisposition to depression was triggered by a case of chronic testitis, which caused sleep deprivation and burning pain in his lower body. In the meantime, mood swings fluctuated from anger to fierce denial. Despite visiting a doctor his brother had recommended, Aronson eventually needed to undergo electroconvulsive therapy in his brain.
As the family began to recognize the extent of Phillip’s growing handicap, they revoked privileges such as his job, driver’s license and bike.
‘Emmy sat me down and asked this question: ‘If the house was on fire, would you be able to get (our daughter) out?’ and I said, ‘I don’t know if I could get myself out,” Aronson said.
Throughout Aronson’s entire illness, Emme became the sole caregiver and breadwinner for their household, placing career opportunities on the backburner while nursing her husband back to health. Their daughter even nicknamed her ‘mamapapa,’ since Phillip Aronson was often behind the scenes, bedridden. After Aronson’s attempted suicide, Emme had to seek therapy in order to confront her own feelings of anger.
The biggest frustrations stemmed from talking to a string of her husband’s doctors with a long list of questions penned beforehand.
‘I’d come in with a yellow pad and say, ‘Before we get going, I’ve got a couple of questions,” Emme Aronson said. ‘I was respectful and very headstrong. I thought, why can’t anyone understand that he’s trying to take his life?’
In addition to advice, the Aronsons provided insightful information about depression during the question and answer session. About 40 percent of recovered depression victims relapse, and the highest rate of suicide is for newly recovered people who quit their medication cold turkey, they said.
‘Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,’ Phillip Aronson said, although he refrained from describing how he had once tried to commit suicide.
The book signing’s popularity exceeded the expectations of Kathleen Bradley, a book division manager and host for the event. The speakers drew over 50 people to the intimate underground setting, which eventually had standing room only.
What made the talk appealing to a wide range of Syracuse community representatives stems not only from the couple’s willingness to speak out, but also the compelling nature of their story, she said.
‘They really opened themselves up and let everyone know what they went through emotionally and physically,’ Bradley said. ‘But they did it very well, and spoke from the heart.’
Throughout their talk, the couple continually attributed their successes to the strength found in each other.
‘I am so blessed to have this woman in my life because she literally stepped out of her life for two years to take care of me,’ Phillip Aronson said.
Published on April 8, 2006 at 12:00 pm