When it comes to dating, today’s college students are more willing to overcome racial boundaries, despite the traditional reservations of older generations.
Juniors Katerena Moustakis and Edvin Hot have been pulled apart by different worlds, though they’d rather travel through them together. Their obstacle is not the stark contrast of their complexions, nor the fact that Hot is Yugoslavian and Moustakis is Greek. It is not because Hot is Muslim or that Moustakis spent 12 years of her life in Catholic schools. Their problem is tradition and Hot’s family’s threats of disowning him should the two ever get married.
‘His parents said something to the effect of, ‘That’s a nice girl, but you can’t lead her on,” said Moustakis, an English and textual studies major. ‘What hurts the most is that his parents are the obstacle, because of me being who I am – Greek and Greek Orthodox.’
Last November, Hot, a psychology major, called it quits rather than postpone an inevitable breakup.
‘I never thought I’d want to denounce my culture, but right now I do because I want to be with him,’ Moustakis said.
Today’s generation of college students are increasingly willing to cross racial lines and pursue lasting love on their own terms. In the search for autonomy, however, interracial couples may find their relationships tested by tradition, older generations and less tolerant counterparts.
According to a Gallup Poll cited in the Feb. 8, 2006 issue of a USA Today article, 95 percent of the18-to-29 age group approves of black and white people dating each other. About 60 percent of the same group stated they had dated someone of another race. Two other studies in the article – one from the University of Maryland and another from Teenage Research Unlimited – claim students are more inclusive of both diverse romantic partners and acquaintances.
The studies suggest that college students are date-savvy by virtue of their exposure to large peer groups, making them key players in a movement of cultural integration. At Syracuse University, the concept of interracial dating rouses a mixed collection of both positive and negative reactions.
A new ‘colorblindness’
Although interracial dating is not a particularly new development, interracial marriage was illegal in 16 states before a 1967 Supreme Court ruling reversed such laws. Since then, the percentage of interracial couples taking their marriage vows nearly doubled between 1990 and 2000, according to the Population Reference Bureau.
Exposure to interracial dating has also increased in media. It is publicized by the likes of supermodel Heidi Klum and Sealhenry Samuel, and the subject of films including ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,’ ‘West Side Story’ and the new release ‘Something New.’ On the Web, interracial dating is supported by a long listing of Web sites. A Facebook group was even created in honor of ‘Something New,’ which currently boasts 104 Syracuse members.
College itself can be a liberal environment, allowing students to experiment in relationships between people sharing common interests. Three factors make college students more apt to pursue interracial relationships, according to Tom Smith, director of General Social Survey at the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.
‘Each younger generation is more accepting of racial integration in general and marriage in particular,’ Smith said. ‘Acceptance in general increases with education, and the ethos on college campuses is one in which diversity of all kinds are highly valued.’
Others attribute racial openness to the growing diversity of a nation emphasizing freedom of speech, choice and partner selection.
‘There is no white person and there is no black person anymore,’ Moustakis said. ‘Everyone today is mixed … the more and more we mix people will seem like, ‘OK, let’s do it.”
Parental pressure
Family approval can make or break the interracial ties of students still dependent on their parents in a variety of ways; it can also provoke mysterious acts of rebellion.
Hai Cheung, a junior biology major, has kept her Peruvian boyfriend a secret from her ‘very protective’ parents for the past three years. During the summer after her freshman year, Cheung endured a four-month separation period just to keep the relationship status hidden.
‘They expect me to get my career and marry an Asian boy, and usually if you can’t find one, they’ll get one for you,’ she said. ‘My parents think I don’t date at all, that I don’t do anything bad.’
While students sometimes fear a ‘falling out’ with their parents if they choose to tell the truth, parents of interracial couples often have their own fears, said Joseph Fanelli, professor of SU’s Human Sexuality class and couples’ therapist for the past 30 years.
‘Even though they may be accepting of a relationship, parents can be as much afraid and worried about what abuse they may take over relationship,’ Fanelli said. ‘They may say, ‘I don’t want my children to go through this, I don’t want my grandchildren to go through this.”
Fear based on skin color, biased traditions and even anxiety about ‘contamination’ can lead parents to withhold their final blessing.
George Yancey, a sociology professor at the University of Texas, has conducted national surveys assessing parental openness to interracial marriage. One major finding is that when parents were asked to rate groups acceptable for their children, whites, Hispanics and Asian-Americans ranked blacks the lowest, he said.
When these same parents were asked about their approval of non-black groups, there was less of a difference in racial tolerance. ‘There is a relative undesirability of having black in-laws,’ Yancey said.
Moustakis is the product of an interracial marriage between her black mother and Greek father. When she started dating a guy of Puerto Rican-Irish descent in high school, her mother warned about being associated with his nationality. Moustakis also worried about a loss of her identity because of her relationship.
‘I would always be thought of as a Spanish girl … people would forget about me being black, Greek and white, with no culture to call my own,’ Moustakis said.
Both Smith and Fanelli agreed that multiracial families like Moustakis’ are usually more supportive of interracial dating practices in their children.
Ashley Chestnut, a senior public relations major who is black, said her parents exhibited very little resistance when she began dating a white man two years ago. When she marries the same man this June, Chestnut said she will allow her children to inter-date as long as the person is Christian.
‘It’s about whoever God has for you,’ Chestnut said. ‘I would encourage them to look at someone’s heart and not outward appearance.’
‘The last taboo’
Negative attitudes about interracial relationships can persist on college campuses despite their free-thinking reputation. Bob Jones University, a Christian fundamentalist school, lifted its ban on interracial dating only six years ago. A campaign visit by President George W. Bush brought national attention to the issue. During an interview on Larry King Live, Bob Jones III defended the institution’s stand against ‘the coming world of anti-Christ, which is a one-world system of blending …’
Students may branch out to forge friendships with people of other races, but still avoid connections on a romantic level. This hesitance can be measured by the Borgadus social distance scale, which indicates people’s willingness to associate with other religions and ethnicities. Interracial marriages always earn the lowest numerical ratings, Smith said.
‘Inter-group marriage has been aptly described as the last taboo for interrelations,’ he added.
Yancey argued that while interracial dating is becoming more frequent, people often tend to overestimate ‘age effect,’ or the influence in attitudes fostered by a certain time period. His studies show other factors such as geography play a large role; people on the West Coast date more interracially than in the South, and people of integrated schools more than non-integrated ones.
Skin color remains one of the largest gray areas of improvement, he said.
‘People of color date more interracially than whites have. There are more whites than people of color, and have more of an opportunity to date interracially,’ Yancey said. ‘Theorists say we have a racial hierarchy where whites are on top and there’s more cost for them to date interracially.’
Stereotypes perpetuated by social interaction and the media also play a role in inter-dating, students say. At times, these stereotypes cater to the mate selection process, making people more or less likely to pursue those outside of their race.
‘Ever hear the phrase, ‘You look cute together?” said Ranika Morales, a sophomore political science major, who is part black and Filipino. ‘I don’t think you would hear that if I was with him,’ she said, pointing to a white male across the room. ‘There’s a big stigma that black women want to see black men with black women, and it ties into how hard it is to be successful as a black man,’ she added.
Dave Biggins, a senior psychology major who has black and white parents and is in a relationship with a white woman, said he believes some people base their interracial preferences on stereotypes.
‘I know this kid obsessed with Asian girls – it’s insane,’ he said.
Whether young adults will be able to shed negative attitudes or enter into more diverse relationships is dependent on something already affecting them: time.
‘I’m so tired of hearing ‘whites stick together,’ ‘blacks stick together’ and ‘mixed shouldn’t exist,” Moustakis said. ‘I’d like to think this is just one world and we should come together. I always say I am the product of two beautiful people.’
Published on March 30, 2006 at 12:00 pm