Celebrity status usually seems so attractive. You get to skip the line at every club. You can date someone fabulous and attractive. Even a multi-million dollar mansion usually comes with it. And if you’re super special, you get your own reality show.

There is a “but.” A big one: the whole celebrity breakup part of the equation. Almost every extraordinarily high-profile couple has an excessively public demise. There are magazine covers, Perez Hilton articles and aggressive tweets. Sometimes there are even dance-offs and claims of maidenhead taking if you’re Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears. Apparently, it isn’t all fun, games and free swag in Celebrity Land.

The most recent high-profile break up for us to devour is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ Scientology-filled termination. For those who don’t read the website Blind Gossip, the divorce announcement probably came as a shock. Though we were all waiting for it, the fact that it actually happened was still surprising.

Even people who are fans of Cruise-the-actor think Cruise-the-person seems a little off his rocker. But lately, the “Mission Impossible” actor started to seem a little more normal than usual, and Holmes seemed happy to take a family picture.

That all changed when the “Dawson’s Creek” alumna abruptly filed for divorce from her husband and reportedly wanted sole custody of her daughter, Suri. People magazine learned of the split first, according to its website.

It would be extremely irritating if you needed to have an attorney and a publicist just to cover your switch from “in a relationship” to “single” on Facebook. Imagine if you had to give a national magazine and website the exclusive on your latest breakup. But that’s what our favorite celebrities are dealing with.

Imagine how crazy the media coverage will be when Beyonce and Jay-Z eventually move into Splitsville, USA. That will be tame compared to the reaction the ferocious British media would have if power couple David and Victoria Beckham break up.

Astonishingly, “TomKat’s” breakup was easy and basically done in less than two weeks. No one ran to the media crying “cheater.” Holmes skipped over the “gay” rumors that tend to hang around Cruise. Everyone was strangely adult-like. Both parents put 6-year-old Suri first instead of hyping up media coverage for personal gains.

As of Monday, both parties had come to a divorce agreement and signed on the dotted line. Holmes will have primary custody of Suri while Cruise has “generous visitation,” according to yet another People story.

So we don’t get to watch a dramatic divorce play out in court. All of Tom’s possibly dirty laundry won’t be aired for us to see like his supposed proclivity to wiretap people, according to TMZ. At least it won’t happen this time around. How boring.

Instead, Cruise has gone back to filming his science fiction flick, “Oblivion,” in California, while Holmes has moved to New York with Suri. The 6-year-old will be starting private school in the fall. They even released an extremely adult joint statement with a thinly veiled Scientology reference.

“We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents,” the statement read.

Even though this ordeal was low-key compared with other splits, Holmes has had a lot to deal with. She’s watched Cruise couch jump on national television while proclaiming his love for her. The actress supposedly had to put her career on hold to appease Cruise. Her five-year marriage wasn’t all expensive clothes and a luxurious lifestyle.

Watching their relationship unfold — and fold in on itself — in tabloids and on “Oprah” can make us all glad we’re just regular old college students.

Ariana Romero is a junior magazine journalism and political science major. Her column appears every week. She can be reached at akromero@syr.eduor followed on Twitter at @ArianaRomero17.

Published on July 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm