Female masturbation.

I am assuming that phrase makes a lot of readers uncomfortable. I am also assuming that if I had started this by talking about male masturbation not as many people would feel awkward. Personally, I find the word itself uncomfortable and apologize for using it so frequently but unlike the varied slang for men, there are not that many alternatives for “female masturbation.”

And that is the primary issue.

Men have been vocal about jerking off for decades. In slapstick comedies, the subject is often up for discussion. In coming-of-age cult classics, such as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” there are scenes of boys fantasizing and pleasuring themselves.

Never have any of these scenarios been publicly condemned or controversial. Boys are simply being boys, right? Wrong. Women have sexual needs and wants too, but they are consistently being suppressed by society.

When Judy Blume’s novel, “Deenie” hit the shelves, it was immediately met with uproar. In fact, it is on the American Library Association list of the 100 most frequently challenged books of 1990-1999 at No. 42.

The protagonist, Deenie, is diagnosed with scoliosis and has to wear a brace. She begins to experiment with herself and talks about “touching her special place.” She not only talks about this “special place,” but also how it feels good.

This clearly scared people. Women who enjoy sex, especially without the help of men, scare people. Especially if those women enjoying sex are young — even more if it’s written about for other young women to read.

This “masturbation gap,” as some call it, mirrors societal attitude toward the subject and gender roles. The patriarchy has controlled the sexual activity of women since the beginning of time and thus, has minimized the sexual needs and desires of women.

But times are fortunately changing. According to a 2009 study by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington, the number of women who say they have used or tried a vibrator has topped 50 percent.

Women are told by society that masturbating is shameful. “Good girls” would never be caught dead admitting to such a sin. Historically, women have only had sex to reproduce. The concept of female virginity has been built up into this sacred virtue while male virginity is not even up for discussion.

In the film “Black Swan,” a ballet instructor encourages Natalie Portman’s character to go home and touch herself. The following scene is a graphic depiction of her masturbating, resulting with her getting rid of some much needed angst and stress.

If we assert that masturbation is forbidden to women, then we dictate that women be completely dependent on men for sexual pleasure. We, as women, are made to feel a deep sense of guilt if we explore our own sexuality independently.

A New York Magazine article stated in 2012 that vibrator sales soared following the explosion in popularity of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” book trilogy. Vibrators are now even being sold in stores like Walgreens and CVS Pharmacy. Women no longer have to duck and hide while walking into a flashy store with a name like Adult Playworld — they can now make their purchases along with gum, face wash, or staplers.

But despite these strides, the concept of masturbation is still taboo enough that women will not speak openly about it. There are now even apps that demonstrate different techniques. HappyPlayTime encourages women to explore their anatomies and bodies, with a goal of educating women on how to please themselves.

I think that female masturbation needs to be explored within popular culture. If the taboo is broken via television shows, movies and songs, the general public will accept the notion that women have the power and the right to please themselves.

Let us turn to Betty Draper from Mad Men. If a 1960’s housewife is able to utilize her washing machine to do something dirty instead of clean, a modern day woman should be able to please herself and not feel ridiculed.

Published on January 28, 2014 at 9:53 pm